You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
