Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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