After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
