Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
The struggles of a small town man whore
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
