Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
