do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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