That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
