2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize