They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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