Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
