im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
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