and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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