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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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