I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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