but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
