hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
