Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
