my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
