it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
