There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
