Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
