just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
