I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
