Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
