how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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