are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
then he tried to convert me to islam
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
