you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
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