Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize