"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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