in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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