hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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