I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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