I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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