Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
