he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize