The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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