is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Every concussion has its silver lining
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I need a beard to bite.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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