Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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