pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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