also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
