don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
