you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
