you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
