I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
