i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I am spending my child support on dildos
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
