I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
last night I used snow as a chaser
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
