She is in my trunk
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
sick fucks of a feather flock together
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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