Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
