So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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