I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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