problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
