do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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