You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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