You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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