If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
